Worried

I am tired, no I am exhausted! Yesterday, Jake (my dog) started walking with a limp. I'm not sure what happened or really when it happened, but it did and now he is in a lot of pain. He has hip dyslpasia (sp?) so that is acting up and is front leg is bothering him. Last night he needed help getting outside and up the stairs. He only changed position 3 times in bed last night. Yes, he sleeps in bed with me. He was also crying, totally not like him. So my worrying started. I didn't sleep well. I was hoping and praying that he would wake up feeling better. That was not the case. He is barely moving and his eyes have changed. His eyes are sad and worried. I don't know what to do or how to help him. We are going to the Vet tonight and I am hoping that she can give him a pill to help him. I need him to be ok. With an upcoming trip, I am worried more then ever about leaving him. My stress is at an all time high right now. I can't think or organize my thoughts at all. Wish him luck at his visit. I hope I can update that all he needs is a pill and lots of TLC.

What a Day!

Really, that title covers it. From good to bad I guess. I was just too tired last night to post anything on here so now through blurry eyes I am going to attempt to post now.

Yesterday started early. Rumbling from the kids room happened around 5 but thankfully Timmy fell back to sleep. Emma isn't allowed out of her room until she sees it is 6, so I knew I had an hour. All 4 of us got ready and headed to Timmy's Immunologist appt. I had already heard the blood results but we still had to go and get a bit of a game plan. So far the game plan is to stay on course the way we are with him taking singulair everyday and me chartig when he gets colds and the severity of them. We head back to him in May for another followup and then retest his blood in a year. We are hoping by then his IGA is in some kind of range even if it is low. After the appt. David headed to work and the kids and I headed shopping.

I am in desperate need of clothes. But first a stop at Borders!!! We had a GREAT time!! I thought it could go bad because Timmy wasn't in his stroller, but he was fantastic. My children LOVE books! I have read to them since the day they came home. Actually, Timmy was read to before he was even born. I try my best to bombard my children with books. So Emma was off searching for her book, Timmy was searching for anything he could find...music, DVD's, coloring books, storybooks, and stuffed animals! They were to funny. I found a DVD for them and then went to help them find a book. Emma wound up with a Dora DVD because most of the books she pictures out (Junie B. Jones Books) we already have. I started reading her chapter books this past week and she loves them. So I am reading her the whole series. Timmy got a Wiggles book. Not something I liked but he loves them. I at least found the most educational one I could. For myself, The Joy of Cooking! Martha recommended it and I had to check it out.

Then we were off to Kohl's. Can I just say that my children ate so many Cherios that I didn't think they would eat anything for lunch! I found some clothes for me and there was a lot of interestign discussions that we had in the fitting room. "Mommy that will fit, it is so cute." I put on the clothing and then "UGH!" "What's the matter mommy?" "It doesn't fit." "Yes it does, you zipped them." "Honey, mommy can't move, they are too tight." "Then get a bigger size." Ah yes, that is the answer, but do you think I did that, NO! Although I was able to find some things, and of course the rest of my family benefitted from the outing. Clothes for all. Timmy had to get a Nemo bathing suit. He wore it on his head through the store. That's my boy.

We got home and things went well. Lunch, nap for Timmy and then, Emma said her head hurt. She sat with me and watched her Dora DVD. She looked exhausted! So then Timmy got up and had his OT. Everything went well. After she left Emma said she felt yucky inside. Not good! My stomach was bothering me but from something I ate. So we sat together until David got home. Then things went from bad to worse. She began crying fits and just felt miserable. All of a sudden she was cold and couldn't get warm. We wrapped her and I took her temperature 99.6 not bad. We called the dr. and got a 7:30 appt. 30 minutes after her bedtime, but she needed to be looked at. Within an hour of the 99.6 reading her temp was up to 103. I got her in the van as she was sobbing and within 5 minutes she was asleep. At the drs. office the nurse took her temp and it was down to 101.5 (thank you Tylenol!). The nurse left and Emma was back to sleep. The dr. can in and she was barely awake for the exam. The diagnosis - strep throat!! The poor kid. As we were leaving she woke up to get a sticker and then tried to fall alseep on the floor. Back in the van and back to sleep. She was beat.

I am so happy to report that after one dose, she is back to normal!!!! You got to love medicine!!! Funny thing I am glad it was strep and not a virus.

Other than being tired we are good here. She is sad because she can't go to school today, but otherwise good! I cam keeping my fingers crossed that Timmy doesn't get it!

Who Motivates YOU?

As most that are reading this know, I belong to a wonderful group called Friends of Allie. We are a group of women that work (through the internet) to raise money to find a cure for blood cancers. I had the priviledge (and yes it was a priviledge) to meet these amazing women in Las Vegas last November for the first time. I felt like I was meeting old friends. It was truly amazing.

Now many of these women have joined weight watchers. Can I just say, how proud I am of them! Not for joining, but for being so inspiring and motivating. They are working so hard to become healthy!! They have inspired me to try harder to be healthier for my family. As many of you know, I don't need to lose weight (according to charts) but I feel that I need to lose between 6 and 10 pounds to be more comfortable. When I got married I was 126 lbs. Not a weight I really saw growing up. I had passed it so quickly, I think I sneezed and was 140. It was crazy! Then right before I got pregnant with Emma I was at a comfortable weight of 133. I say comfortable, because at 126 I never felt good, but at 133 I stayed that weight without trying. After Emma I only got back to 136 which isn't bad since I didn't try to lose the weight, it just came off. But those 3 lbs never left me. Then I got pregnant with Timmy. I have dropped most of his baby weight except for 3 to 5 pounds. So this is where I am at. Baby weight that is still holding on that I want to get rid of. I don't like fluctuating between 139 and 143. Believe me, I know it is a good weight, but I am not comfortable.

So here comes my motivation...these wonderful women!! They have taught me it isn't just about the weight, it is about your health. I have always said, I may be thin and look good, but I am not healthy. I know in my mind I am not healthy. Yes, my blood pressure is low and the last time I did a cholesterol test it came back good, but in my heart I know that I am not doing my best to be healthy.

One friend does laps in her house to get healthy! Would you believe that she did over 19,000 steps one day!! No I am not lying about that!! Another friend not only counts her points, but has joined a gym. Something I thought would be impossible since I have no one for the children. To my amazement, gyms have childcare!! Something I never would have thought of. She also had good advise about finding a good childcare within the gym. I am going this week to look into it for myself. I have attempted to do my workout here at home, but it just doesn't work for me right now. I am not as motivated to get it done. If I start at a gym now Emma and Timmy will be together. I won't feel guilty leaving just one. So hopefully in the fall when Emma goes to Kindergarten, Timmy will be fine being left there. I also hope that I will be motivated to include workouts at home after seeing result from the gym.

All of these women have motivated me to live a better life! And because of that, I am a better mother to my children!!

So to all of you reading, I thank you all for inspiring me to take control of my life.

I will give you an update on my bike later. There is a funny story about that.

IT'S PURPLE!!

There is so much that I have thought of that I want to post. As soon as I sit down in front of this computer, I go blank! How does that happen? I mean really, did the children suck out my brain cells?

So David and I bit the bullet and bought bikes for ourselves. What were we thinking?? I truly don't know. I tried riding the bike in the store. That was a sight. I had no balance. We got one of the carts to pull behind that both of the children could sit in. It actually converts to a double stroller also. That is cool! So why didn't we go with the seats that attach to the bike, since there are 2 of us and 2 of them? Go back to te 6th sentence in this paragraph "NO BALANCE!" I can't take one of my kids out when I go down. I did get a bike helmet and part of me wanted to get a full body suit for the first couple of adventures out. You might be thinking "Why do this if you really aren't excited?" I am excited, but scared. And the bigger reason, we want to go bike riding with the kids while we are camping. We want some quality time with them that includes exercise, besides the normal running around. Besides, we have to get good on our bikes before the children get really good on theirs. So a friend asked me today "Did you get a 12 speed?" I said, "I have no idea IT'S PURPLE!!!!" Truly the color is all that matters, right?

There is so much more, but nothing I can think of right now! Except, we are having a blast of warm weather, so we will be outside and living it up!!!

Have a GREAT weekend everyone!!!

Long Overdue

Sorry I have been so bad in blogging. I have been doing a lot. My house was bringing me down. The messier it got, the less I did. It was bad!

I purchased te Hoover Floormate. My cousing recommended it and with the amount of ceramic tile I have, I needed something with a motor to clean them. I never thought that my floors would be so dirty, but with 2 dogs who are in and out all day, you can forget about sparkling floors all the time. It worked really well. Timmy doesn't like it though. As soon as I turn it on he starts yelling, "Too Loud Mama, Too Loud!!"

So I had asked David if he could hang around this past weekend so I could get some stuff done. I went through Timmy's closest and found brand new clothes I forgot he had. So after straightening his closet, I moved downstairs. I tackled my office. What a mess that was! After many hours, you can now see my desk and actually find things in there. My next job was the kitchen counter. Not something I like to go through, but it was a lot easier since a lot of it belonged file in my office.

On Sunday, my mission was Emma's closet. We needed to get a closest system in there. I want to start a chore chart with her and one of the chores is putting her clothes away. Well that wasn't going to work if she couldn't reach the shelves, so to home depot we went. We ended up getting two systems. One is for the spare room that will eventually be Timmy's new room. I also picked up an additional shelf for my laundry room. So not only did I get Emma's closet organized, I got my laundry room looking better.

Timmy started OT yesterday. I am really hoping this doesn't last that long. I know, I know, I pushed for him to get this, and I really hope it works! It is just that, I think a lot of what he is lacking is because I don't spend the amount of time with him that I should. That is starting to change. Hence, all of the organization and purging of crap that has been sucking my time and energy. Believe me, when he was first classified for OT, I blamed my self. I am not doing that now, although it might sound that way. I am just evaluating what is going on and seeing the best way to help him. The OT therapist will help jump start his sensory issues and attention spand issues. But I will tell you, he has already started to improve in the past couple of weeks. A lot of it is a maturity issue for him. On the speech front, I am so scared he is going to test out. Quite the opposite of OT, huh? He is still a little delayed, but he went from saying single works to complete sentences over night. No really, over night!! All of a sudden 5 words were coming out of his mouth strung together for a sentence. My little man is quite an achiever this past couple of weeks. So the speech teacher and I are trying to get our game plan into action before his annual review in April. There is a family history (with Emma) with articulation problems. I am afraid he will go backwards and pick up the same artic. problems that Emma has. In Sept. he needs to be reevaluated anyway for Preschool services. Which his speech teacher feels he will definitely receive. So why stop services for 6 to 9 months, just to through him back in. Oh, the red tape just gets to me.

Jake had his stitches out on Saturday. He is doing great!!! Emma is doing wonderful in school. I am so excited for her!! I can't wait to see how she reacts to the school tour in April.

Oh, Timmy's sweat test was postponed due to the snow storm we had. It is rescheduled for April. For those that don't know, this is to test for cystic fibrosis. I hate having these kinds of test looming over my head. I really wanted to get it done last week, but mother nature had other ideas.

The phone just rang and it was his doctor. His blood work came back and as we thought his IgA is low. We knew this. The good thing, he thinks it will come up in time. We also had his IGG subclasses tested and out of the 4 of them only one was normal. The other 3 are low. Again, he believes that in time, it will get better. The end result, Timmy will suffer with more cold and sickness than the average child. And yes, this is were my guilt comes in. I know I didn't do anything to cause this, but it breaks my heart that he is sick so often. I wish it was me and not him. Although, it is only colds and not something more serious. For that, I thank my lucky stars everyday.

This post is so much longer than I wanted it to be. If you are still reading, thank you so much. As many of you know, an amazing woman died Dana Reeves. Her strength, courage, grace and love for her husband and son were uncomparable to anything I have ever seen before. Please pray for her son Will. He will need a lot of love and support in the coming days, months and years.