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When will it get easier?

I have been having a difficult time lately. Grief has grabbed ahold of me again and I just can't shake it. I miss my dog. Actually it is more like I. MISS. MY. DOG. Do you hear me God?

I am not sure why at this point it is so very hard for me, but it is. I just find myself consumed with grief at moments. It just hits me out of the blue. For the past 7 days, I have cried at least 4 of them. Of course, it wasn't for the whole day, but 30 minutes out of my day I felt his loss so deeply.

He was MY boy. He was MY buddy. He loved ME unconditionally.

I know that Maggie misses him just as much. I can see it in her lately. She just seems so sad. A lot of it is probably because she can sense it in me.

Here are a few pictures of my best friend...

The Santa suit that was an XL but apparently, Jake is bigger than an XL!


Yes, that is David sharing the end of the recliner with Jake. Do you think this dog was loved?


AH, he gets the recliner to himself. Who is the master here?


Jake's gentle ways would melt anyone's heart. He could be trusted with any child or baby for that matter.


Jake with his new sister, Maggie. I was so worried about his nose being bent when I brought her home. Their friendship was heaven sent. They loved each other so much.

I sometimes wonder if all of this would have been easier if he went on his own without my help. Don't worry, I know this is just a rough spot right now and time has made everything easier.

He is always in my heart.

Not your Grandma's Decorations

When I was in Middle School, I had this art teacher who was so enthusiastic about art. I mean it was like art oozed from his veins. Years ago (possibly 20) he started making decorations for his yard for the holiday season. Well over the years his decorations have grown and grown. The decorations span over 2 of his neighbors' yards. They even bought him a huge utility shed to store everything and he is still running out of room.

Each year we try to bring the chlidren. Last year we missed it, but not this year. The decorations are lit starting the day after Thanksgiving until 2 days after Christmas from 5 to 9:30. There is Christmas music playing and the teacher and his wife hand out candy canes with Santa hats. As you drive to their house, you come up over a hill and see this...


This picture doesn't do it justice!! It is serious business. Below are a close up of some of our favorites...


One of his new ones!


Cars...major favorite and also new.

Reindeer food and a little swimming

The children made reindeer food to share with their classmates. Emma and I have done it for the past 2 years, but now it was time for Timmy to make his own. He had a lot of fun sprinkling the red and green sprinkles.


He is concentrating so hard that he has his tongue out.


Emma is such an old pro at this.



Here is my swimmer!!! Look at her go. She has moved from a starfish to a dolphin. We are very proud of her! I don't have pictures but Timmy has moved from a goldfish to an angelfish.


As you can see, she loves swimming underwater.

Gingerbread houses are so sweet!

I went into Emma's class one Friday and helped them make gingerbread houses. Her teacher has a house left over with candy, so she gave it to us. We decided it would be fun to decorate it together. I also had one of the premade houses from the store that you just have to put together and decorate so we did that one also.

Here they are working on the first house. Timmy is concentrating very hard while Emma supervises.


Notice Timmy is still working while Emma is licking the frosting.


Timmy looking for a place for the candy and Emma (although it seems like she is looking) is watching me to see if she can sneak more candy.


Ah Yes! The boy has icing on his finger and wants me to get it off. We can't be messy can we? Emma although she doesn't look thrilled is really enjoying all the candy and sweets since I limit them.


Can you tell who took over this side? As you can see, I don't bother with the piping because I want the kids to get into it and do most of it themselves. So we just frost the heck out of the house and then they have at it.


Almost done!


Just putting the finishing touches on their masterpiece.


And the 2 gingerbread houses!! Timmy was yelling "Lightening McQueen" Go figure!


Don't miss the other 4 posts that I finally did. I will be back later to try and wrap up December. Thanks for hanging in there.

Life's little pleasures

I came across these pictures and thought I would share some everyday life.

This is what Timmy's hair looks like after swimming and wearing his big wooly hat home. Such "BOY" hair.


Emma didn't want to be left out. She had just gotten her hair cut. We took about 4 inches off.


Timmy posing with Woody and his Mickey Mouse cards. He wouldn't put this two items down all day.


Sunrise at my house over the Hudson Valley Mountains.

Pancakes and Santa!!

Really, who could ask for more on an early Sunday than pancakes and Santa! Not us!!

Here the kids are ready to go. Timmy is doing his pirate smile. Not sure where he got this. Do you like the way Emma poses with her foot out?


Here they are with Santa. This is at my parent's firehouse. We go every year!


There cousin Danielle joined them in this picture.


I love taking pictures of them in the car. Not really sure why. We were waiting for David to come out with our pizza!

Decorating the Tree

A few pictures of the decorating.

Emma was very excited to be able to help decorate. Here she is putting a hook and an ornament we made last year. She loves finding the ornaments we made year to year.


Timmy hanging an ornament. Notice those PJ's. I swear they are washed all the time, but the boy simply loves them. Don't worry he got a lot of Cars pjs for Christmas!


Finding the perfect spot.


From the pictures I took you would think they spread the ornaments around the tree very well. One look at this picture truly tell you that is wrong. Once they went to bed I rearranged some of them. This particular master piece was from Timmy!!


And the finished product... Our TREE!!! As you can see, no angel on top for us. We have a snowman! Although, after 9 years, I think next year calls for a new topper. That is only if I can find a suitable replacement.

December in review!

Wow, I guess I haven't been here in awhile. Let me see if I can get up to speed with one post.

Here is Emma out riding the snowmobile! The David brought the 2 kids to get a helmet and then they tried out their new sled. David put tires on the front so the kids could use it. Glad he did since we haven't had any snow yet!


Kind of far away (don't worry though, I got a new lens for Christmas and now I can really zoom in), but this is Timmy giving it a whirl. As you can see, David has a rope tyed to the quick release so if the kids are headed toward something, he can pull the cord and stop them instantly.


Timmy found the extra stocking that I have and decided to help himself to them! He was so cute. As you can see, no decorations on my tree at this point.


Oh, and if you can't tell, these are his FAVORITE pj's. How cool is this kid?


David's birthday! The children love celebrating birthdays!


This is an after picture. If you scroll down to the other post you will find the before.


I took about 10 snapshots of Timmy while he was telling me a story. Notice the pj's?


Here he is still telling me the story. If I could upload pictures quickly, I would have put the whole sequence in. It is really funny to look back on. He was telling me about how he went to the bathroom and didn't use too much toilet paper.


Oh, that face!!


This is the scene we see every night. Emma is the last one at the table by herself. I know many of you are thinking this is mean, but this is after we have sat for an extra 20 minutes after finishing our meal. She takes forever!


Here is the before of my kitchen. The soffet has birdhouses that I stenciled.


More of the kitchen.


Here are a few of the "after pictures. Of course, the shelf is empty because I just took my Christmas decorations down.



I am going to end here for now and then do some smaller updates. Be sure to check out what is to come.